In this chat we talked about how conditioned we are to see ourselves and others as having serious problems that need ‘fixing’. In getting caught up in this, we miss the chance to see other possibilities. There’s a lightness and relief in knowing that we are never broken and there are some beautiful examples shared in this conversation xx
So this was quite an interesting one. If you are very new to the 3 Principles or what we are talking about then it could be a little confusing if you try to listen and try to figure out what we’re saying. If you’re able to listen and if you get a nice warm feeling, then that’s perfect – that’s what we’re pointing to! If you don’t then don’t worry – keep listening to other conversations though please – looking in this direction is invaluable!
Franks closing comment is pure gold too so worth listening through for that! Or at least fast forward to it before you completely abandon the call! xx
Since realising that I spend almost every moment of my day caught up in thought, I’ve been noticing how busy my mind is all the time. Like ALL the time. Non- stop. Witter witter witter. Most of the time I don’t even hear it because it’s so constant. Like the hum of my computer I can hear now that I’m aware of it, or the tick of the clock. Always there, but never usually something to pay attention to. Until I do. Every minute or so, a thought announces itself like my kids do whenever they want something!
“Pay me some attention! Give me food! Why are you so tired! When are you going to get yourself together! Why are you so lazy! Remember to call your mother.” On and on and on. Often my thinking comes with a feeling. Right now the feeling is tired and fed up. Literally as I’m typing this the thought flashes through that my kids are in the next room and how lucky I am that I could go give them a cuddle any minute and I feel a smile on my lips and a skip in my heart.
I have a long – standing problem that needs solving. (Just one of a few!) Typically, my way of thinking is that I need to DO something to solve this problem. Think through different options. List pros and cons. Get other people’s opinions. Maybe I could change my thinking about it, make it more positive or reframe it? I go round and round in circles – in some cases for years and never get anywhere. Even with all the thinking, the problem is still there so clearly I’ve never figured out the solution!
Then something happens, for example, I lose my car keys. Like properly lose them. I’ve searched through every sofa cushion, counter top, easily accessible drawers, floor space and still, they don’t turn up. I cannot for the life of me figure out where to look next. I stop to carry on getting the kids ready – I know the keys are in the house somewhere so they’ll turn up sometime and, in the meantime, if I have to, I’m pretty sure I know where the spare is. Suddenly, in the space that’s created when I stop trying to figure it out, a fresh thought pops in and I remember exactly where they are – in someone’s bag after we went for a walk yesterday and I didn’t take them out!
We see things in a fresh way when our minds get empty for a moment. Just a moment is all it takes. The answers are always there waiting to come in only we tend to keep such a hold on our thinking that we can’t see new thoughts. We innocently attach ourselves to certain thoughts and patterns of thinking and feeling that we get stuck, like what I’m doing in trying to solve my ‘problem’.
Fresh thinking comes in with a lightness and an ease that doesn’t feel the same as when we’re working hard to figure it out. It’s the feeling you get when ‘inspiration’ strikes – often when you’re completely relaxed and not in ‘problem – solving’ mode. Like when you’re in the shower, on holiday or exercising.
Fresh thinking comes as an insight – a totally new thought that pops up from nowhere.
We all have access to this and it can be tempting to try and figure out how to get to this space so that we can have more fresh thoughts and insights but, like a sponge, the more you fill it up with water, the less space there is for new water. Knowing that our thoughts, all thoughts, will pass through like water through a sponge, without us having to do anything, means that we are more likely to allow fresh thoughts in and open ourselves up to a whole new way of seeing something.
A fresh look at making mistakes!
On Saturday, Frank, Lucy, Sandrine, Shazia, Clare and I had a really wonderful conversation for you all….. and then something went wrong with the recording and I lost it!
To say I was gutted is an understatement. I couldn’t believe it – I’ve done so many of these and never lost them but even more so I was annoyed because I’d had a random thought starting the session that I should check with Frank that I was doing this the best way – he is my go to man on these things!
Anyway, I ignored this insight and paid the price lol. What was interesting is that it was so quick for me to dramatize things and to feel guilt around what I thought the others would feel and think – totally made up! In fact, they couldn’t have been sweeter and Clare pointed out that in entrepreneurship it’s a practically a rite of passage that you mess up a recording!
So, sorry there was no video this week! We will be back next week.
I have also had some great chats about moving this site forwards. Funnily enough, there is no complete plan just rather some breadcrumbs to follow and we are all in agreement that following the fun and wisdom inspired ideas is the way forwards. We have some exciting opportunities coming up and will keep you posted.
In the meantime, if you have any feedback or comments, questions or things you’d like to contribute to then please send me a message and let me know 😊 xx bron
Founded by the wonderful Jacqueline Hollows, Beyond Recovery is a fast growing social enterprise making a proven difference to people with repeat offending behaviour, complex mental health issues and drug and alcohol problems who are involved in the criminal justice system.
The Wisdom Entrepreneurs podcast is a gorgeous listen for all and welcome to anyone who would like to participate. Bron was honoured to be invited during Mental Health Awareness week for this powerful conversation
In this special episode to coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week Alan, Derrick and the wisdom entrepreneurs discuss what mental health means to them. They explore the notion that mental wellbeing is something that is innate in us all, but we often look elsewhere for answers. In truth, mental wellbeing always resides in us all, and no matter where or who we are, we are only ever one thought away from it.
This video by Anna shows beautifully how we all innocently make assumptions about our lives, our circumstances and ourselves. By being curious about these assumptions, we open up space to see different possibilities which in turn can change everything.
This conversation was potentially an awkward one, but one that we felt to be important. We explored how we are all, always living in our own separate realities and when we don’t know this, it is easy to innocently react and respond to situations and experiences in ways that are perhaps not in line with what we would choose if we knew that there was another way to look at things.
Please note that these conversations are always coming from our own experiences, interpretations and attempts to take a fresh look at things and no offence is ever meant. We welcome conversation and comments from you and thanks for watching xx
Some words from Bron shared on her social media:
So it’s been a while since I’ve shared anything in here. With the recent things going on in America following the horrific killing of George Floyd, I was left reeling a bit with the very loud focus on the fact that he was black and that Black Lives Matter.
Having experienced the very opposite with my brother, Jeremy Brooke, being a white man deliberately and brutally killed by black men, it seemed crazy to me that we are still focusing more on colour than on the actual fact that the value of life was clearly so non – existent in both cases. In my head, surely ALL lives matter and in focusing on colour, we are still perpetuating the differences, instead of looking to our shared humanity which is obviously the ultimate aim and goal for the vast majority of us?
After some settling down and being open to learning and understanding more about what is actually being said, vs what I think is being said, my experience is now different and I have more understanding and compassion for what other people are going through at the moment.
It has been astounding to me the pressure I am seeing in online circles for people to speak up and then the backlash and shaming that is happening when they don’t do it the way that some feel they should be. While it is of course important for us all to educate ourselves and to make changes in ways that help, forcing our views on others and judging people for not behaving in ways that we think they should, does not lend itself well to change. In my experience, it often leads to the complete opposite with defensiveness, fear and insecurity – things that never bring out the best in anyone.
“Everyone is doing the best they can given the thinking that looks real to them” – Sydney Banks
We all have our part to play in making this world a better, safer place for everyone for sure – no doubts that change is needed – and coming from a place of connection, compassion and curiosity is a much better place to start than fear of being judged which will only lead to more silence.
All my love,